To Start

Messiness, x2 movement, making & baking & skincare, oh my

In our minds

Eva: Oh my goodness, where to begin? This is how I often feel when I hop on Marco Polo - like I have a million things to tell you. The truth is: I opened substack to start this draft and have decided that maybe this is how we start. I’m just gonna write to you, Liz, and you, reader, and maybe you’ll both respond?! How cool would that be.

I’m thinking about all the unpaid work. And the balance of motherhood with career. As a stay at home mom, I feel continual pressure to make money. And I have moments where I’m like: I’m doing it all! Huzzah! But the reality is, wherever I am putting my focus, I’m letting other things slide. Case in point: I just told you on polo I was going to clean the kitchen and actually be a good member of my household and instead I’m back to my iPad plunking away on this because once my brain gets fixated creatively, it’s really hard for me to put boundaries around it. I wish I was the stay at home mom who used every ounce of her creative energy for her children. Or who kept her house impeccably clean. The woman who always has dinner waiting for her breadwinner partner…I mean whatever, gender roles aside, there is a part of me that thinks all of that is really beautiful. I do hold a weird sort of romanticism for motherhood that I think a lot of feminists have burned lol. And I have my moments. But I’m also a creative mom who needs space. And that has been really hard for me to admit….especially as someone actively choosing to be home.

Me writing this, holed up in my room, does make me feel like a distracted (ie: shitty) mom. But if I were to actually let myself sink into motherhood and homemaking 100%, then I don’t make any money. AND. On top of that, I also think it’s been hard for me to admit my pleasures outside of parenting. Like I love love love being a mom, and I also enjoy the part of my brain that I get to access when I write.

I know this Julie Bogart clip is saying: “we need both,” meaning women who are home with their kids and women who are working. But I still hear it as I can do both. Honestly, I think this is why we see so many women in direct sales…so many homeschooling moms making homeschooling a business with their own print-outs, curriculum, etc. People can hate on momfluencers but they are a direct result of the